I KNOW TRUMP'S BEST POSSIBLE CHOICE FOR VP

Trust Me. I Nail It. (In more ways than one, as you'll see)

[NOTE: Some readers may experience a “double banner” at the top of the page, and a repeat of my bio at the bottom. I’m working out a few bugs - thanks]

Ok: Here it is. You want to know the ultimate selection - choice - Trump could make for his VP? I’m here to tell you.

Me*.

That’s right. Keep an open mind. Hear me out.

We know I’m informed, intelligent, attractive, modest, balanced, oriented according to sense, patriotism (and I’m a vet!); that I’m informed and have results-oriented ideas for solutions to America’s problems (which are growing in both number and depth of each). Yes, yes, I’m “America first!”… I believe in sovereign borders… I think DEI is a nice recipe for DIE (sooo obvious - even the Dems know it - that’s the point!)… and yes, the Claudine Gay-types need to go back to the secretarial pool (does anyone know if she can type?)

But I know what a good many of you are thinking. Oh, yes, I do. After all it’s obvious:

Dave. You’re White.

And, you’re straight as a Clinton-trajectory from plane to Lolita-Island-Bedroom. You’re cis-gendered, heterosexual, white, male, privileged, and therefore woefully ignorant as to what it’s like to be anything else in the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic mess that is 2024’s America. Not only that: You almost made a racist joke involving Claudine Gay (which is just as good as making one) - except, I was going to say that I take my coffee as I take my women; hot and ready. (Which is true… and, ladies [can we still say that?] please don’t be offended - have a sense of humor - and, ya know, if you wanna swing by, hang, listen to some music…). And besides, Claudine Gay is not hot - any state of readiness or accessibility aside.

But not so fast. Trump has already said that he doesn’t believe that a VP-select has ever influenced the presidential vote. I’m not so sure… therefore, let’s get to this consideration: I have an identity, too. I’m Scottish-Irish-Slav. That latter part, the Slav part of me? Well, the amateur etymologist in me has done a little research. The Slavs were the original slaves: Slav=Slave. A good part of my forebears were slaves. So there. Know what else? No one in my family, forebears from long ago included (some of whom were slaves. SLAVES. SLAVES) ever, ever, ever owned slaves.

But also: Never once in my time in America has anyone queried me about my “identity,” much less honored me for it. So, it’s time. Nobody seems to give a shit that I’m part Scottish - or part Irish. Or part Slav (SLAVE). I would say, “Well, then, fuck them” - but I labor to remain decorous, to exhibit some class, to suffer with dignity regardless the coarseness and unjust nature of America: If this isn’t the most unbalanced and unfair country in screwing people over based on everything from “first glances” to discovery that you’re an ignorant, lying, stealing, plagiarist then it’ll do until I can find a country that is marginally worse.

Now, you’re thinking… that’s it? That’s my argument for VP? No. Here’s the kicker: In saving America, in bringing my unusual talents to the table, I’m willing to transition to an even far more favored identity. In other words, I’ll eschew and abdicate my “white/male/cis-gendered/heterosexual” identity and go full-trans.

I’m willing to become a woman. Heck, I’ll even become a lesbian. See, that makes eminent sense: I’d be a woman with a penis. I could still, um, screw in the more-or-less conventional sense, by putting my panini in any number of vajayjays!

You see? I’m not only Vice Presidential material, I can make an immaculate argument as to why my candidacy is superior to all other considerations. Imagine how incredible I’ll be on a debate stage on the full range of issues.

Life can be so simple when one dedicates oneself to plain sense.

* Actually, I’m partial to Congressman Byron Donalds (U.S. House of Representatives, Florida's 19th district). He just rings true in terms of personality - he doesn’t seem phony… he doesn’t come across as a politician and he doesn’t play on race. He’s just himself, and I like the guy. He seems to have real world experience in something other than politics - he worked in the finance, insurance, and banking arenas according to his Wikipedia bio, as supported by his education and qualifications. He was a Democrat until 2010, then became a Republican. I very much respect people who leave the Dem party. That’s a major change but for intelligent, real, people it is a necessary one.

As President Reagan famously said: “I didn’t leave the Democratic Party; the Democratic Party left me.” Byron Donalds… keep him in mind.

I know Trump has him on the list and is making careful evaluation(s).

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Today’s Joke (really a riddle):

Q: Why did the trans person cross the road?

A: Who cares…

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David Scott Strain is a U.S. Army veteran (HQ, 500th Military Intelligence Brigade [Japan]; 1st Personnel Command [1st PERSCOM, Europe]; Office of the Deputy Chief of Staff for Operations and Plans [ODCSOPS, Pentagon], more) and a retired Fortune500 I.T. executive (Young & Rubicam, Inc., DC-NY; Burson-Marsteller, LLC, DC-NY; ShuffleLabs, Inc., Virginia, more) as well as employment at major non-profits (Nat’l. Food Processors Assoc., N. VA [now GMA]; Water Environment Federation, N. VA, more); as well as TS contract work for clients. Mr. Strain has passed three FBI background checks in association with his work.  He is also the author of the novel THE GRIM GRIND OF LIFE:  A PI’s strange bounces through a surfeit of eateries, juke joints, and dark doorways (2020) and A Bohemian in a Precarious Belfry - Vol. I: Poetry & Prose (2023). (Available on Amazon - Kindle and paperback). Prior, he authored the MBA-text I.T. WARS: Managing the Business-Technology Weave in the New Millennium (UofW, UofMD, more than a dozen others). Expanded bio also on Amazon.